Here’s some mood music for while you read my post: King of Heaven by Hillsong. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard this song before (even though I apparently own it, as I found it on shuffle), but I’ve listened to it solid for about the last 45 minutes. All day today, I’ve been feeling the need to spend time with God. To pray. To read the Bible. To spend time with Him. I had a monumentally long day (probably being a little dramatic) with solid appointments/work, no breaks, from 8am – 5pm. Not complaining. It’s my job. And I love what I do. But having just returned from a mini-vacation for Easter, I needed rest. Not to mention that I am in the throws of this lady-hormone-roller-coaster. My babies better be worth it! (Like I’m the only one who’s ever thought this??? Don’t worry! I know my babies will be worth it!!!!)
[To be extra clear: this is in reference to potentially fictitious future babies who don’t exist except in the apple of my eye ;). In other words, I am not pregnant. Don’t need a ridiculous rumor starting. Lolz. But not funny!]
[Double-Extra Side Note: If you haven’t read this article about the lady hormones and why they’re natural and the moods shouldn’t be medicated away, check it now: “Medicating Women’s Feelings.” I’m not entirely sure what I think about it, but I think it’s great conversation starter. So maybe consider bringing up “cycles” and “menstruation” and the dreaded “PMS”–OR EVEN WORSE “PMDD”–at your next party or work social when conversations gets a little dry. Oh, yeah, then let me know how hilarious the response is. Don’t expect to be popular, though.]
So, anyway: I went to work. Then I hung out with my wonderful boyfriend. Did I mention he’s wonderful? He is. But he’s not God (shocker) and what I still needed was some time with God. [Super-Weird Side Note: I wonder if any imbalanced person has ever thought he/she was legit dating “God.” That would be extra ridiculous, right???????????] ANYWAY! So I drove home, and I ran into Wal-Greens to grab a toothbrush (I use the spinny one, for anyone who’s wondering), and then I got in my car, and this song came on. And I listened to the lyrics, and I immediately felt a peace. So check them out in full here: King of Heaven Lyrics.
To break this down Elishia-style, here’s what the song says: We (humanity) were definitely in total darkness. But then Christ came down. He was a light in our darkness. He is EMMANUEL! God with US!!!! Furthermore, He came into MY life, and He is TRUSTWORTHY. He can be trusted.
What a beautiful message, a beautiful song. And what a calming, healing reminder to my soul. No, I don’t have to trust in people or technologies or my own ability to logic stuff out (good thing!) or my own wisdom or any of that. I have God. That’s it. A couple years ago, I was very much struggling with a decision, and I went to a pastor of mine for advice, and I remember clearly one line of advice he gave me: “Elishia, instead of focusing on this situation and seeking for an answer here, just pray and seek truth.” And I will never forget that. If I seek God, and I seek truth (yeah, way easier said than done–although there really isn’t some magic code), then I’m good. I might not know all the answers right away (or ever?), but I don’t really need to. God says that if any of us lack wisdom, we can pray and ask God, and He WILL give wisdom to us generously. Also, if we seek Him, we will find Him. If we seek truth, we will find it. God does not delight on being distant to His people or keeping us “in the dark,” so to speak. What is more comforting than these TRUTHS?
This also reminded me of a cruise I went on (a delightful graduation gift from my parents) a few weeks ago. It was my first time out of the country. We went to Belize, Honduras, and Mexico. I have never been wealthy. I definitely felt like I was “suffering” as a kid when I didn’t have JNCO jeans. Haha. I did my fair share of work, it’s not like I was a spoiled brat. But as I traveled from the ritzy Americanized ports of these countries to the places I would visit, I saw nothing but shambles. Of course, I knew these countries had unwealthy areas. I know that I am “rich” compared to rest of the world. But I had never seen people actually living in lean-twos with incomplete walls and piles of trash laying all over the yards. I couldn’t help but to think: “I am in need of nothing.” Because I’m not. I have everything I could ever want. I have a nice apartment. I have a nice car. I have nice clothes. I have access to healthcare. I have a church family. I have extra supportive and caring friends. I have a loving family. I have a beyond wonderful boyfriend (though, at the time, I didn’t, so I didn’t think that one exactly…)… I NEED nothing on this Earth at all. And I found myself thinking, much to my chagrin, “I am blessed.”
If you know me, you know that I despise cliche, overused phrases. Especially Christian lingo that is used so often that it either becomes extremely misused or loses meaning altogether. I generally hear people use the word “blessed” in response to good circumstances that rise or financial/material prosperity. In general, I think people use this word when they’re talking about getting their way, basically. Which really just gets to me. BECAUSE does that mean that when things don’t go my way that I am NOT blessed? Nonetheless, I felt myself thinking, “I am blessed.” Because I do feel blessed.
A quick google search will bring up the meanings of this term: definition of “blessed.”
It really doesn’t necessarily mean, “Hey, look, I got everything I ever wanted, Yay!!!! GO ME!!!!!” Though I think we get that usage from where it talks about asking for God’s “favor”–which I suppose could mean monetary prosperity. But the word (as an adjective) also means: sanctified, holy, or worthy to be praised.
I am having a hard time piecing my thoughts together here, except to say, that I think my ideas really come down to this overall idea (can’t quite get the verse): we should praise God in the good and bad. Will we accept the good from God and not the bad? (Got it! It’s Job 2:10, roughly… also consider Ecclesiastes 7:14).
Some Thoughts for Myself (and maybe for you, too?):
1) What in my life am I refusing to see as a “blessing” from God? (Meaning something that He can use to make me more like Him/draw me closer to Him/keeping me from something more harmful, etc. even thought it doesn’t feel fun.)
2) How am I using the blessings I do have? I am educated. I have a relationship with him. In comparison to much of the world, I have wealth beyond measure. Am I being a good steward?
3) Am I satisfied in what the Lord has given me? If not, why?
This post didn’t really go where I thought it would. (But do they ever?)
I have much more to say, but this is for now, good friends.
I love you all!